The Pinkie Nail: A Treatise

Monday, May 15, 2006

Dr. Evil and his pinkie
Would someone please explain to me the thought process behind growing out the pinkie finger nail? Every time I see some guy sporting four normal looking finger nails and one ultra-long pinkie finger nail, it wierds me out.

I think I understand the basic jist: the mentality is that having a perfectly manicured, elongated pinkie finger nail is an outward sign that one is not a member of the blue collar working class (or "party of the propertyless proletariat" according to George Bernard Shaw). After all, one cannot maintain such a well-groomed nail while performing manual labor.

The problem I have with this is several fold. First of all, having an elongated pinkie finger nail does not necessarily mean that you have a prestigious job. After all, being a taxi driver does not classify one as “white collar”.

Second, it reminds me of the evil genius, Casanova Frankenstein, from the movie Mystery Men. (If you’ve never seen Mystery Men, you really haven’t lived.) One of his “super powers” is an extremely long, sharp and potentially deadly pinkie nail which he uses to slash at his enemies. It also reminds me of Dr. Evil, looking coy with his pinkie finger up to his mouth.

Third, I have to wonder, how does one care for such an outlandish appendage adornment? Does it get filed and polished on a regular basis? Does one walk into a nail salon (not saloon, by the way; that’s where cowboys in the Wild West drink whiskey) and ask for a single-nail manicure? If it breaks, is there a lot of whining followed by the words, “Ah, I broke a nail!”?

And last, it just looks sick. Truly. Guys were not designed to have long fingernails, especially one orphaned outcast that juts out beyond the others. Do us all a favor and trim that thing down.


Blogger Tololy said...

I could not have put it better myself. I always wonder why some people just insist on being disgusting. I do not know why they do that, I ask and ask but there are no answers.

5/15/2006 10:35 AM  
Blogger salam said...

well,I need to agree with you on this one,though I read your comment on Roba's blog and thought it was too ofeensive for all of us Jordanians,i hope I misunderstood your intention.I have no clue why men do that!I remember a teacher we had in school who always had a disgustingly long nail and a girl asked him why,he said when you get married you'll know!what the hell did he mean?no clue!

5/15/2006 12:01 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Salam, which comment on Roba's blog? If you are refering to my most recent comment, I assure you no offense is intended (unless you are part of the Jordanian police force).

5/15/2006 12:07 PM  
Blogger salam said... I'm not part of the police force but you said Jordan's finest(police officers),so I thought the intention was that all Jordanians were targeted if their finest:the police officers are like that ,so the rest are even worse.I'm glad that wasn't your intention.

5/16/2006 12:56 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Sorry for the confusion. In the States, we use the phrase "[insert city here]'s Finest" as slang to indicate the police (for example, New York's Finest). It is sometimes used as a term of endearment, but othertimes is used sarcastically, as in this case.

5/16/2006 1:02 PM  
Blogger salam said...

I see,culture gap,I guess..glad that is the case..thanks for explaining!

5/16/2006 1:11 PM  
Blogger Firas said...

Well Dave, it's disgusting! And it's usually used for ungodly things.
Actually it gives a lot about the guy you are talking to (self hygiene, hence background and culture).

5/17/2006 12:46 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

It's an easy cocaine spoon for a lot of folks.

5/22/2006 12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha. When my Aunt first visited Jordan and saw the "saloon" signs she was quite surprised that we had them just about everywhere. Of course they were just "salons" all along.

3/09/2008 8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a long pinky nail is used for crack cocaine.

go to and type in cocaine fingernail. you'll get the gist.

6/26/2008 6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

austin powers is the best movie ever. dr.evil is the best you rocks

4/27/2009 12:48 AM  

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