Monday, May 15, 200611 comments
Would someone please explain to me the thought process behind growing out the pinkie finger nail? Every time I see some guy sporting four normal looking finger nails and one ultra-long pinkie finger nail, it wierds me out.
I think I understand the basic jist: the mentality is that having a perfectly manicured, elongated pinkie finger nail is an outward sign that one is not a member of the blue collar working class (or "party of the propertyless proletariat" according to George Bernard Shaw). After all, one cannot maintain such a well-groomed nail while performing manual labor.
The problem I have with this is several fold. First of all, having an elongated pinkie finger nail does not necessarily mean that you have a prestigious job. After all, being a taxi driver does not classify one as “white collar”.
Second, it reminds me of the evil genius, Casanova Frankenstein, from the movie Mystery Men. (If you’ve never seen Mystery Men, you really haven’t lived.) One of his “super powers” is an extremely long, sharp and potentially deadly pinkie nail which he uses to slash at his enemies. It also reminds me of Dr. Evil, looking coy with his pinkie finger up to his mouth.
Third, I have to wonder, how does one care for such an outlandish appendage adornment? Does it get filed and polished on a regular basis? Does one walk into a nail salon (not saloon, by the way; that’s where cowboys in the Wild West drink whiskey) and ask for a single-nail manicure? If it breaks, is there a lot of whining followed by the words, “Ah, I broke a nail!”?
And last, it just looks sick. Truly. Guys were not designed to have long fingernails, especially one orphaned outcast that juts out beyond the others. Do us all a favor and trim that thing down.