Attention Jordanian Government: Free Money

Thursday, March 29, 2007

12 comments
Dear Jordanian Government,

I know you read this (and many other blogs). I've also been hearing of late that you may be suffering from budget deficit. Well today is your lucky day. I am about to tell you how to get an endless supply of easy money to help bolster that strained budget.

Take a look at the satellite image below (click on the image to view a larger size with notes). You see that red area around the HSBC Bank at 5th Circle? That's your cash cow.

HSBC Intersection


Here's what you do. Grab a bunch of your surplus policemen—you know, the ones generally standing around with nothing to do—and arm them with a handful of ticket books. Then set them loose on all the people who double park around the bank. You know the ones...all the idiots who take up an entire traffic lane simply because they are too stinkin' selfish and lazy to park down the street and walk.

This is the easiest income you'll ever get. All the police have to do is stand next to the bank and fine any joker who decides to break the law by stopping or parking in the middle of the road. And I'm not talking about your measly 10JD tickets; make it hurt!

You can thank me later.

Love,
Dave

12 Comments:

Blogger maninthemiddle said...

Bad morning at the bank, Dave?

You ain't kidding, though. It's a perpetual mess!

And, it's very thoughtful of you to clue in the guvment!

3/29/2007 2:22 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Yeah, I'm just trying to do my part.

3/29/2007 2:38 PM  
Blogger kinzi said...

Very clever! Can you do another one for Abdullah Ghosheh St. between the Mecca flyover and 7th Circle? Triple parking near two restaurants, and a taxi stops in the ONLY available lane to pick up a fare! Then, when I honk, he looks up with the 'shu malik?" hand motion as if any complaint is unreasonable. And the line up behind me is mad for not running him off the road.

It's gonna be a loooong summer.

3/29/2007 3:46 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Kinzi,

There are thousands of such spots around the city. It will be a long summer, indeed.

3/29/2007 3:59 PM  
Anonymous Mazz said...

oh god! whatever possessed you to tell them Dave!

3/29/2007 4:26 PM  
Blogger Jad said...

Clever, cynical and hilarious

3/29/2007 5:12 PM  
Blogger Mohanned Al-arabiat said...

Dave:
People have no money to pay tickets!!Oh, I forgot, HSBC, then go police get 'em..but the sad thing dave is that the government goes after the poor not the rich!!Good post though!!

3/29/2007 6:27 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Mohanned,

The way I see it, people that don't have the money to pay tickets shouldn't park in No Parking zones. :)

But like you said, they'd probably end up giving tickets to the people driving Toyotas and Mitsubishis rather than BMWs and Hummers.

3/29/2007 6:52 PM  
Anonymous Qwaider قويدر said...

I totally agree with you man. That's a cash cow waiting to be milked. If you notice in the picture, there is an empty (parking?) lot nearby. Someone should make a parking there and allow people to park away from the tickets

3/29/2007 7:19 PM  
Blogger joladies said...

we have chosen the same subject! There are so many places that annoy me. Couldn't we all draw up a list and I will personally deliver it to the Colonel in charge of the Traffic police? T

3/29/2007 9:16 PM  
Anonymous Khalidah said...

I hear you

There are too many spots in Amman with the same problem ... in Abu Alanda truck drivers double park and turn the very wide street into their own garage ... that's another source of good money as well if you ask me ...
I liked this post :)

3/30/2007 11:27 AM  
Anonymous american in Q8 said...

Bravo.

That was a witty solution. mind if I steal it for Kuwait?

We also have a similar problem. the ministry of planning did not properly allocate a lane for those who do not wish to search for parking.

Incompetant planners.

4/22/2007 10:39 AM  

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