Monday, June 26, 20065 comments
The more time I spend on the Internet, the stronger my conclusions become about one thing: the Internet is a breeding ground for idiots. I’m not referring to people who are simply annoying or are of below average intelligence, but rather complete and total morons.
I’ve never believed in humanity. I do believe that people are worthwhile, but at the same time I’ve come to realize that there are too many people out there who are less than intelligent and far from loving. Nearly everything I’ve seen on the Internet has proven this to be completely true. In short, the Internet is being used and run by every single idiot on the planet.
I present to you the history of the Internet:
- The first TCP/IP wide area network, NSFNet, is developed by the United States' National Science Foundation as the result of years of work by US government and military agencies. (Al Gore did not create the Internet, although he played a major role in seeing that the internet project was retained under the NSF, as well as promoted and supported the development of the Internet.)
- Tim Berners-Lee begins developing HTML, HTTP and the first few web pages in 1989.
- The network gains a public face in 1991, becoming known as the World Wide Web.
- Prodigy becomes the first of the early-generation dialup services to offer access to the World Wide Web, pioneered the concept of Online Communities, basically in the form of message board which are frequented by computer geeks and enthusiasts (such as yours truly). This is followed shortly by CompuServe, GEnie and other services.
- America Online (AOL), an Internet Service Provider and company full of idiots, deems the Internet as suitable for all of their idiot friends and family members. AOL creates a graphic user interface (GUI) as a feature of its propriety service, making the Internet widely accessible to idiots all throughout America.
- As word grows that “this Internet thing is so cool”, more and more people try their hand at creating horrific-looking, useless web pages. It’s only a matter of time before message boards and instant messenger clients are rife with moronic upstarts.
- L33t sp33k begins to form in underground Internet communities. It eventually mainstreams, creating a release for a generation of people who can’t spell, type, form a coherent statement, use punctuation, have no idea how to use the Caps Lock key or have any knowledge of grammar whatsoever. OMG!!1!! d00d 7H1$ 1NT3RN3T 1$ T3h R0X0RS!1! 1 PWN J00!!1! 1 4M 4 L33T H4X0R!1!!
- A few decent people take advantage of Internet technology and make the Internet a better, more worthwhile place. Everyone else follows the current shallow trends, ripping off the creativity of the few people who know what they are doing all the while badmouthing all the other idiots in Cyberspace.
- Due to cheaper, global access , worldwide idiots take over the Internet, meet other compatible idiots on MySpace.com and find some way to meet and procreate, making baby idiots who will eventually follow in their parent’s footsteps and ruin the internet for everyone.
“Gee Dave, I was under the impression that the Internet was getting better.” I tell you, if I see another photo of a kitten on a free photo hosting site, see someone seriously and intentionally type the letters “LOL”, see another blog entry that begins with, “i don't have anything to say…”, and then continues on for another 3 paragraphs whining about life and circumstances all the while using z's instead of s's, I may seriously explode all over my computer screen.
We don’t just let any idiot get into a car and drive down the highway, allowing them to disregard any rules they choose and interact with all the other cars however they want to. No, we make them take a test of skill, intelligence and basic effort. The internet should be the same way. A 13-year-old girl should not be allowed unrestricted access to the World Wide Web. Why? Because she’s most likely an idiot. And if she isn't, she probably hangs out with idiots who are ruining the Internet every day. If she does turn out to be one of a few normal, decent Internet users, then she's more than welcome to surf around but only on one condition: that she doesn't take a million and a half webcam shots of herself in what she thinks are "sexy" poses, because in reality, it goes to show that she's just another idiot who is dumbing down the internet far more than it needs to be.
About the author: Dave is an experienced Internet user that uses the Internet for good and not for idiocy. He doesn’t visit HotOrNot.com and doesn’t associates with idiots who ruin the web.